Celebrating 3 Years: A Fruity Anniversary

We are celebrating 3 years already. It certainly doesn't seem like long to some, but to us-it's a milestone. We've now been married. . .
longer than any relationship we've ever had with another.
long enough that my niece and nephew don't remember me apart from "Auntie Beezy and Uncle Mike".
equivalent to a common sentence for hackers and sex offenders.
as long as Goosebumps  lasted on TV.
as long as it takes many fruit trees to actually bear fruit.

3 years is also the magic number we discussed repeatedly in graduate school as the length of time it takes for a change to become the norm in much of society. So, are we bearing fruit  after three years or just becoming the norm ? It's a valid question. We've certainly established norms and routine in our shared lives over the past years. We've had to. If we repeated the first year over and over again, we'd look at least 40 by now (not that 40 is bad but I wanna look 25 while I'm 25)! I'd rather think we are more like the mango trees that can take up to 3 years to mature. That certainly sounds nicer, right? Plus, Mike would love to hear from me that I believe he's matured in the last 3 years!

I want to bear fruit! I'm not just talking Genesis style. I want to be fruitful in other ways. My favorite definition of the word comes from Merriam-Webster:
fruit·ful \ ˈfrüt-fəl\ : abundantly productive <a fruitful  discussion>

Wow! Who wouldn't want to be abundantly productive ? For those of you reading who know me well, you may be chuckling. For those of you who may know Mike well, you may be rolling with laughter! :)  I'm totally serious. I want to do well together and separately whatever we're doing-work, home, love, friends, family and otherwise. Looking back, I actually think we both value this. When we discussed the highlights of our last year together, the things that came up were purchases (forgive us because they were big ones; we're not materialists or anything) and projects. We both value finished products-tangible outcomes from our efforts. Seeing this, I think we can certainly take on the challenge to be fruitful in many activities. The number one area we want to be fruitful is obviously in our marriage and we have realized it takes work and communication to stay with it but we've seen the rewards and certainly don't want to stop here.

Speaking of communication, did you notice the example the definition offers exemplifying being abundantly productive: <a fruitful  discussion>? What wife doesn't want more fruitful discussion from her husband? That is definitely something we had in courtship and something I hope to continue throughout our marriage. We actually had a surprisingly fruitful discussion with our host on our anniversary date. I wish I could illustrate the entire conversation in text including his thick and entertaining accent, but I can't so I'll just get through the story with less grandiose than if I were telling you this in person!
Our Date

Mike made reservations at Galleria de Paco in Waterloo for our actual anniversary evening and we were both excited about the 4-course meal ahead. We knew we were in for an amazingly artistic atmosphere and great food. I had also heard about the charismatic host who adds to the ambiance. He certainly got us off to quite a start.

He asked if we were celebrating anything special immediately upon arrival while taking our coats. Mike smiled with a bit of pride as he said "Our three-year wedding anniversary". The host exclaimed with excitement which just added to Mike proud expression and certainly brought a smile to my face. "Congratulations" came with the shaking of each of our hands for the second time since our arrival two minutes prior. "Now, imagine thirty-five. Thirty-five years how long for me."

"Wow. So, you must know a secret!" I responded followed by Mike: "Yeah, what is your secret?".

"Secret? Hmm. You will fight. It will happen. He make mistake to you. You make mistake to him. Little fight. Secret is you make sorry right away. You do apologies every time. Then, forgive and throw to garbage. Forget mistake and go on. If not forgive, it just build and build and build. Then, BOMB and split apart. Most fights are for nothing. Nothing."

At this point, we're making our way through the broken English and surprisingly engrossed in this short and unexpected lecture. Valuing our undivided attention, he continues.

"Imagine. He goes to start car and battery no good. Does not start. He get out slam door and kick it. You come and ask what's wrong?  He say **** off." Umm, did he just say that?  "Now, you mad. He mad. And over nothing! Just an example. BUT, he make apology right away, you forgive, throw it away and be happy again. No little nothing fights stay to cause explosion." Mike breaks in with a beautiful accurate comment, "Good thing I'm perfect!" Oh brother. . .

"Apology does not mean you admit wrong. No matter who it is. You. Her. Others. You hurt feelings, you make apology every time. Then it be fixed, no explosion. Happy life. Kay? Let me show you to your table." We follow silently both grinning and still reeling through the last five minutes. "Thank you for coming to Galleria de Paco and enjoy your meal tonight."

Well, if that wasn't the most elaborate but simple advice we've gotten, I don't know what is. It certainly made for a memorable evening and gave me an idea for my new year's resolution. Though "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you" are taught repeatedly to school-aged children, adults tend to suck at it. So, my New Year's resolution is to teach Mike to apologize more often. Just kidding! Besides, didn't you know he's perfect?!?!?