Bearing Fruit: Friendship

Continuing on with my 2011 goal to bear fruit and be abundantly productive in multiple facets of life, I am reminded of what that means in friendship. As we all get older, the concept of friendship changes: the time, shared activities, shared interests, communication methods, interactions-everything. Most often, so do the actual friends. In some cases, there are lucky people who maintain friendships for life. I am currently wrapping up a book that highlights a group lucky enough to have lifelong friendships within a circle of 11 girls from grade school to mid-life. These women have shared experiences from training bras to potty training, wedding planning to divorce decisions, child births to parent deaths and have maintained their connection throughout.

The book is called The Girls from Ames and is mostly documented reminiscing on the part of each woman. Pairing their recollections with the observations of the writer who sits in on one of their annual reunions, the book is a quick read that will instantly make you think of friendships of your own-past or present. They've been through things I have not and some I hope my friends and I will never experience. Amidst the story-telling are splashes of research findings about friendship, marriage, and parenting. The most predominant message is that friendships, particularly and much more so female friendships, are important to a well-balanced life and have impact in our lives and marriages.

Friends serve as a sounding board that sometimes doesn't talk back but often does. They share interests and insights with us our partners might not. They fill a part of our life that we cannot rely on one person alone to fill. If we're lucky, they also reflect God's image and allow us to do the same in each other's lives. I am grateful for my friends. While I did not stay in one school system throughout my entire life as the Girls from Ames did (and many other Iowans I would presume), I can't tell you about the one friend I've had since kindergarten (let alone ten). However, I can tell you that I am blessed in the friendships I keep to this day.

I have friends from high school, college, and since that are prevalent in my life. Each of these friendships have changed and are changing frequently with marriages, children, careers, college and other activities being in our recent past or not-so-distant future. To keep bearing fruit in these relationships takes attention and intentional action. A shift in the life of a friend may require a shift in the friendship. In an effort to keep these friendships alive, I am trying to learn more about the people they're becoming, remind them of the people they were, and praise and celebrate the people they are.

Bearing fruit in my friendships means two things to me. I want to support them in whatever way I can and whatever ways they need. I want the same from them throughout my journey as well. While this changes from sleepovers to dinner parties, from trading clothes to trading recipes, from bachelorette parties to baby showers, I hope I can rise to the occasion. I am blessed to have the friendships I have and look forward to being productive in all of them-old, new, and yet to come.