Dear Garrett-
This is the first of many letters I hope to write to you throughout your childhood. Every year on your birthday, I plan to take time to reflect on the year past and make assumptions about the year ahead and share them with you in this format. You will quickly come to learn that this format is no longer common: a written letter, one on real paper with an envelope and the word “Dear” in the greeting. By the time you learn the art of letter writing, it will be on some hand-held tablet that I’m too old to figure out. That’s technology!
This year has flown by. Everyone told me it would but it truly did. There were some extremely long days and short nights in the beginning. You came into our lives in time for lunch last October 25th in an extremely fast delivery and changed our world forever. You made me a mother and the next few months made me a mommy. Learning to understand your wants and needs is still a work in progress but finding ways to enjoy every little piece of you has come quite easily.
You love to laugh. I mean, we all love to make you laugh, but it is clear you enjoy laughter tremendously yourself. It’s as though you look at me sometimes just begging me to do it again; whatever “it” is on any given day that will rise up that gleeful giggle. Your laugh is contagious! You will laugh until you let out a deep-bellied sigh because you even wear yourself out with joy. You can cry just as loud but you rarely do. You’ve been an amazing baby. It did take you seven months to sleep through the night, but I’ve already forgiven you.
You’ve grown so much but are still a little squirt. You’re a skinny little thing yet often referred to as a “ham” over your amazing smile and flirty demeanor. We get “he’s so adorable” all the time (in public and on Facebook which I’ll show you when you’re older, you poor electronically-exploited child) but they don’t stop there; people feel the need to reiterate that they’re not just telling us you’re cute because you’re a baby but that you’re REALLY CUTE. We get it (and we love it). Someday, you’ll get compliments about how amazing and smart and funny and special you are beyond being cute; don’t worry. And, yes, someday, an important special someone will use a word like hot or handsome instead but the most important woman in your life will use other phrases for a long time coming! That woman is me. Don’t forget it!
You do things on your own time. I’m guessing that is a trait that will stick with you and be a point of contention between the two of us for years to come. You’re not crawling, walking, talking, waving, climbing or standing alone at a year. I have about eight different sources telling me that this is, in fact, a problem. However, you are smiling, laughing, loving, growing and thriving in so many other areas. You will do the rest only when you are ready and I will continue to struggle to balance both my fear and faith in the meantime.
You love your parents and you show us every day. How lucky are we? I hope you continue to do this for years to come. You love your dogs and they’re pretty tolerable of your tiny hands and feet. . . and lips on them so far. You really enjoy bouncing, swinging, and being thrown in the air and you smile slyly every time I sing to you whether it’s our morning song, clean-up jingle, kitchen dances, or bedtime. You laugh when we open our eyes from a dinner prayer. I think you’re confusing it with a very formal game of peek-a-boo and you must outgrow this habit! You are prayed for every night. The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. I feel like I couldn’t possibly love you more but my prediction for the years to come is that you will show me otherwise.
I am coming to this birthday with so many emotions. I rarely cried (or hugged or expressed much excitable emotion at all) before you were here and now, I’m overwhelmed with tears over every happy and sad thought that comes to mind. I am mourning the baby phase already but elated about what is to come; the things I can imagine and hope for and the things that will blow my mind and cannot be planned. I will not be sad. We will celebrate. Probably overboard for a first birthday. Welcome to a likely scenario to be played out for the remainder of your birthdays under my roof. You are, to date and in conjunction with your father, my life’s greatest work and I look forward to your training!
Your biggest fan,
Mom
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