However, this challenge was growing exponentially throughout year one until I'd taken enough brush-offs and all-but-shut-ups from my doctor and others wishing to reassure me that "everything would be fine". After all, it's normal though there really is no normal! After missing the mark at 6 months, 9 months, and getting close to 12 months in age though not in reached milestones, I couldn't shake the feeling anymore. My dismissal of my motherly instinct would hold me back no longer from finding out if something was up.
When I was pregnant, I was baffled by the amount and topics of people's questions as though by body had become fair game. In parenting, the questions continued. . . well-meaning bless-your-heart style friends family and acquaintances would continually ask, "Is he rolling all over the place now? Crawling away from you every diaper change by now, eh? Is that kid up on two feet yet?" While these would normally be seen by Mommy as invitations to boast and bask in the joys of the baby phase, they were anxiety-provoking reminders that my answers were too often "no". Add to that any old man who feels his opinion matters blurting out that perhaps your kid is too fat, lazy, or spoiled to want to do anything for himself, and I was beyond exhausted from playing Pollyanna in sugar-coated responses while choking back tears wondering why I couldn't answer "yes" to all of the above at times that should normally be appropriate.
Luckily, I have a sister in social work that sensed my frustration and downplayed level of concern. She told me that the local AEA would do an assessment without any need for a professional referral. So, I made the call, made the appointment and hoped they'd simply reassure me that my level of worry was normal, that his delays were normal, and we could continue on with life as normal. However, I still knew there was a possibility that my worries were founded and there could be a bigger issue to tackle. An evaluation, hearing test, physical therapy and educator home visit all took place within the next month. He can hear. He's delayed. There's no physical or neurologiocal ailment to explain why or give us any worry that his progress toward catching up won't be quick. WHEW!
Was I sad to hear things about my kid like "5th percentile" or "siginificant delay"? Of course. Was I happy I'd finally gotten my questions to the right people with answers that might actually help Garrett and help us know how to work with him as parents? A thousand times yes! Can I now tell people that he's making strides by leaps and bounds? . . eh maybe. Will he? Likely. Am I ashamed of him? Heck no. Knowlegde is power and I had exhausted the realms of my knowledge in knowing how to approach G's delays and realized I needed someone else. It takes a village, right? Besides, my own pursuits of further knowledge were pretty scary WebMD search results outlining some worst case scenarios and labels I didn't want to assume upon him without a real evaluation. My kid doesn't have a label. Although if he did have one as in the name of a disability, I'd still be happy to have found out and learn how to work with it too.
Every milestone is important to parents as they watch their baby grow. I'll admit that I imagined Garrett flying through his and documenting on camera and video each new movement and sound. Life moves far too fast and is far too short to dwell on what isn't rather than enjoying what is. So, every little inchworming movement he makes toward a new toy is a joy. Each time he reaches across his body to grasp something is a milestone. Each time he turns in response to his name, holds an item in each hand at the same time, pulls his own weight with help up to the couch or lunges forward to get a fistful of Tucker hair is sheer bliss; not a reminder that these are things other kids would have done 3-6 months ago.
After all, 3-6 months from now, this could all be a blur. With bi-weekly visits that are basically play therapy from a PT and an Early Education Specialist, a change to a new daycare center for some increased interaction with kids his own age, and some intentional homework where we know how to work with him, we're doing all we can and taking it in stride. So, the nest will still be blessed though much more of a mess because spending our time with this little guy is soooooo much more important! How could you not love this face whether he's laying, rolling, sitting, walking, talking, or running?
No comments:
Post a Comment